Direct cremation: Unattended funerals explained
A headstone gives family and friends a place to visit and remember. Choosing one can feel like a big decision, especially while you're grieving, but there's no need to rush. This guide explains when a headstone can go up, the types and materials to choose from, what to write and what affects the cost.
When can a headstone be put on a grave?
After a burial, you'll usually need to wait up to 12 months before a headstone can be put in place, so the ground can settle.
This wait doesn't apply to a memorial for ashes.
Many families use this time to think about the design and the words, so nothing feels rushed. Some place a simple temporary marker on the grave in the meantime.
Are there rules about which headstone I can choose?
Most cemeteries and churchyards have rules on the size, shape, material and wording of a headstone, so it's worth checking before you choose.
Rules vary from one cemetery or churchyard to the next. The cemetery or churchyard will also need to give permission, usually with a signed permit, before a headstone can go up.
If our memorial masons are making your headstone, we'll check what your cemetery or churchyard allows before we begin.
What types of headstone are there?
The main types of headstone are upright headstones, flat tablets, ledgers and obelisks, and each suits a different grave and budget.
Upright headstone
the most familiar style, usually rectangular or with a curved top.
Flat or desk tablet
lies flat on the ground, or on a slight slope like a desk.
Ledger
covers the whole grave, usually with an upright headstone at one end. It costs more to make and fit, but leaves room for more than one inscription.
Obelisk
a tall, pointed column. Its height and material make a big difference to the cost.
If a family grave already has a headstone, you may only need a new inscription added.
Which material should I choose?
Granite, marble and limestone are the most common headstone materials, and each has its own colour and texture.
Some lower-cost materials may not last as long outdoors. Ask your memorial mason how each one will wear over time, so you can weigh up cost and lifespan together.
What should I put on a headstone?
Most headstone inscriptions include the person's full name and their dates of birth and death, followed by a few words that feel right to you.
You might add how family knew them, such as 'Loving husband, dad and grandad'. Familiar phrases include:
- In loving memory of
- Always in our hearts
- Forever in our thoughts
- Gone but never forgotten
- Rest in peace
Some families choose a line from a poem, a hymn or a favourite saying. Check with your cemetery or churchyard first, as some have rules on wording.
Think about the words before you choose the shape and size. A longer inscription needs more space, and the number of letters usually affects the price.
How much does a headstone cost?
The cost of a headstone depends on its type, size and material, and on the length of the inscription.
Your local funeral centre can give you a quote for the headstone you have in mind. Ledgers and obelisks usually cost more, as they use more stone and take more work to fit.
You can keep costs lower by choosing:
- a simple shape, such as a rectangle rather than a heart or book
- a lower-cost material
- a shorter inscription
Your cemetery or churchyard may also charge a fee for permission to put up a headstone. Our memorials brochure shows our full range.
How long does it take to make a headstone?
A standard memorial from our memorial masons usually takes 14–30 weeks once we have your signed permit.
We ask for a 50% deposit, with the balance due once the work is complete.
Who makes FuneralCoop headstones?
Our memorial masons, based in Shepshed, Leicestershire, make and restore stone memorials by hand.
They're members of the National Association of Memorial Masons. Every memorial comes with a 10-year guarantee on materials and fixings.
They can also refix or renovate an existing memorial, or add a new inscription to a family headstone.
What if they were cremated?
If the person who's died was cremated, a smaller memorial such as an ashes tablet can mark where their ashes are buried.
If the cremation took place at our Bretby Crematorium, you can add their name to our Book of Remembrance. Memorial plaques, leaf memorials, bench plaques and bird boxes are also available there on renewable leases.
Choosing a headstone is something you can take your time over. Our memorial masons are happy to answer any questions along the way.
